broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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