Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize