Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
