Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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