ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize