Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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