I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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