Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
