there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
