I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I want to be your penis for a week.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
