spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
