We're like a lot better than the average bears
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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