Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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