Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
