ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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