If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize