I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ladies don't puke and tell
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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