I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize