Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
