so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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