and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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