How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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