I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
