You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
