My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize