I want to make a zoo with you.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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