Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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