i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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