Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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