I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
