Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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