he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
