Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
