Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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