I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
