Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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