his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
