She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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