I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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