More tranny stories later!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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