I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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