is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
