I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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