I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
