to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Little spoons don't ask big questions
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
