Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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