Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
