Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
