after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
