Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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