I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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