This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my shit smells like andre
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
