How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
