would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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