I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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