Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
