I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
