never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
