no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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