She said her name was "party"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
