best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Randomize