Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
