just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
