cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
