So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
