i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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