I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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