matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
