Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
false alarm, still single
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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