well you can't waste a boner
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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