I just saw a hot homeless man
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
