Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
