Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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