Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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