you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
