you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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